Make a right on Dreary Lane.
And then turn left at Ghoul, remain
On that road all through the night;
As moonbeams guide you to the sight
In the forest, black as pitch,
Where a two track called “The Witch”
Will bring you to a haunted home
Where goblins dance and mummy’s roam
With skeletons way out in the field
And caldrons steep and vapors yield
Magic spells and eerie charms.
The sign there reads “Haunted Farms.”
Tombstones have been polished bright
And ghosts are dressed in sparkling white.
Phantoms float, spiders spin
Webs that lure and fold you in.
Get there early, half past five,
To meet the ones who aren’t alive-
The break of day comes at eight.
Close the coffins and the gate.
Your check will be in the mail.
You look ghastly, wan and pale.
Have no fear, you’ll fit right in.
If not, I’ll call your next of kin.